To my dismay, the night after I had visited the statue of Alexander, I had a dream. In the dream, I raped my mother. I didn't know how to take this dream. I went to the soothsayers, and to my disbelief, they told me that the dream was a sign that I would one day rule the earth, "our universal mother." It was very encouraging for a dream that seemed so crazed.
I wasn't a Quaestor long. I laid down my position for better opportunities. I took up the position of Aedileship. I filled the Forum, the Comitium, and adjacent buildings, including the capitol with material for public shows, temporary colonnades. I exhibited shows, at my expense and of my colleague Marcus Bibulus, such as plays and exotic animal hunts. I put together a show of gladiators that terrified most of my political opponents to where they passed a bill that would limit the number of gladiators a Roman citizen could hold in the city of Rome. Most of my advertisements showed more gladiators were to fight in the shows, and it was a let down to most spectators to find fewer gladiators fighting than advertised.
The goodwill of the people and tribunes put me in charge of Egypt. It made it even more worth it that I obtained the position through popular vote. I wanted this position because of recent developments that the King in Alexandria had been forcibly removed from his thrown. The Senate and the people of Rome had known him to be an ally of the republic. The Optimates party opposed the matter. However, I took vengeance by replacing public monuments that were destroyed by Sulla many years ago. The statues commemorated my uncle Marius' victories over Jugurtha, the Cimbri, and the Teutones. I became president of the courts concerned with murder, and I prosecuted the barbaric behaved men who took bounties on heads of Roman citizens during the proscriptions, regardless if these men were exempt from Cornelian Laws. I bribed a man to bring a charge of treason against Gaius Rabirius. I was chosen by many to try Rabirius. I pronounced his sentence with too much satisfaction. In fact, my tone gave Rabirius an attempted appeal to the people. Regardless of my prejudice, Rabirius was convicted, and the Roman people ignored his appeal.
I was much obliged to leave my position in Egypt. I went for the office of "Pontifex Maximus." In all honesty, I used a lot of bribery to obtain this position. I had racked up so much debt that the morning that the voting poll was conducted, I told my mother if I hadn't become a Pontifex, I wouldn't return. Venus graced her descendant with a victory over my two rivals. It seemed that my opponents were much more distinguished and much older. The votes cast to me tallied way more than those who were cast for my rivals. Needless to say, I was able to return home that night a Pontifex, but in debt.
Sources Used:
Suetonius, The Twelve Caesars, Penguin Classics Revised Edition, December 18, 2007. Print
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